Managing the Moment: When Anger Takes Over
Caring for our community has been our superpower throughout the pandemic. In this moment, however, our capacity for empathy is being challenged. Chief Wellness Officer Amy Locke shares four strategies to help keep your cool when emotions run high.
By Amy Locke | 3 minutes
Psychologist Susan David writes about the notion that emotions are , they are simply indicators of an underlying problem. For David, emotions signpost鈥攐r alert us鈥攚hen our values are being questioned or our needs aren鈥檛 being met. By seeking to understand the underlying reason we are feeling an emotion, we are better able to manage them.
WHEN ANGER IS THE EMOTION
Caring for our community has been our superpower throughout the pandemic. In this moment, however, our capacity for empathy is being . As a clinician, it can be hard to muster empathy when you get called in on your day off to care for unvaccinated patients who got sick at a concert. But getting wrapped up in frustration results in anger that isn鈥檛 productive.
1. NAME THE EMOTION
When we label or 鈥斺淚 feel angry鈥 or 鈥淚 feel frustrated鈥濃攚e begin to reduce the feeling鈥檚 grip on us. Simply recognizing the feeling and its source is a great first step, even though it might not feel like it at the time. Identifying the underlying feeling leading to anger can also be helpful. Often fear leads to anger. At the root of fear can be
Sometimes our true anger is really rooted in something unrelated. For example, when I am upset about a conversation at work, and I take it out on a person in the grocery store. Recognizing the source of your anger can prevent us from taking out the anger on an undeserving coworker, family member, or friend.
2. DON'T BOTTLE IT UP
When we feel anger, it is usually better to address it in the moment than try to avoid or compartmentalize it. Pushing aside the rage or bottling it, is associated with high levels of depression, anxiety, inability to problem-solve, and deterioration of relationships.
We have to learn healthy ways to manage our anger. Acknowledging the underlying emotion or the true target of anger are both ways to help move through the stress of the event. Other to manage the stress of an event include physical activity, connecting with your support system, crying, laughter, and breathing.
3. CONNECT WITH THE PERSON, NOT THE PROBLEM
Try stepping back to consider their unique circumstances. Think about their story.
As a primary care physician, I have the opportunity to talk to many people before they get sick. Not a clinic day goes by that I don鈥檛 encounter someone who is still on the fence about getting vaccinated. What I have found, time and time again, is that these individuals are trying鈥攔eally trying鈥攖o make the best decision with the information, knowledge and lived experience that they have.
One way to engage with patients in a more empathic way is to simply use the prompt 鈥渉elp me understand.鈥 For instance, a useful question could be, 鈥淗elp me understand what is your biggest concern about the vaccine?鈥
It鈥檚 easy to lose sight of an individual鈥檚 humanity when we鈥檙e angry. It鈥檚 important to remember that we are all craving safety, security, and connection. The better we understand this, the more effective we will be as health professionals and team leaders.
Psychiatrist and holocaust survivor described our opportunity, 鈥淏etween stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lives our growth and freedom.鈥
4. CHANNEL THE ANGER INTO POSITIVE ACTION
When we feel rage at unvaccinated people, that rage is telling us something. It is a signpost that our values as clinicians鈥攑revention of sickness and preservation of life鈥攁re being challenged. The suffering of unvaccinated Covid patients feels like a 鈥攊t鈥檚 unnecessary. Worse, this unnecessary suffering has a cascading effect on all aspects of our lives.
Anger might feel dangerous, but growing research indicates that . It is about how you use the anger. Anger can be destructive when we let it take over, when we don鈥檛 examine it and let it come out in unhelpful ways or directed at bystanders. When anger can be named, examined for its source, it can be focused toward meaningful change on behalf of yourself and others. It鈥檚 okay to feel angry sometimes. That anger might help you speak out and stand up when its most important.
Originally published August 2021.
CONTRIBUTOR
Amy Locke
Chief Wellness Officer, Professor in the Department of Family and Preventive Medicine, Co-Director of the Driving Out Diabetes Initiative, Adjunct Professor of Nutrition and Integrative Physiology in the College of Health, 麻豆学生精品版
