Tips to Help Your Child Start Kindergarten with Confidence
Starting kindergarten is a huge milestone. It’s often the first time a child has been away from their parents for an extended amount of time. Even if they have previously spent time in a childcare facility, transitioning to a formal school setting can be tough for kids and parents alike.
The first day of kindergarten marks the beginning of your baby officially seeming like a “big kid,” and that can be just as tough for parents as it is for children. But how can parents emotionally prepare themselves for this big change, while also preparing their kids to start their schooling journey with confidence?
“School transitions at any stage are a significant emotional milestone for both kids and parents,” says Karen Manotas, MD, a child and adolescent psychiatrist at Huntsman Mental Health Institute at the University of Utah. “Not only do they mark the end of one chapter and the beginning of another, but they can bring up mixed emotions for both parents and children. For parents, it’s common to worry about how their child will adapt, but it’s helpful to think about how you will best support your child through their next transition.”
Setting Your Child Up for Success
Before the first day of kindergarten, Manotas recommends parents try the following techniques for a successful back-to-school season:
1. Follow a Routine
A few weeks before school starts, help your child adjust to the schedule they’ll follow during the year.
- Set a consistent bedtime and make sure they’re in bed on time.
- Wake them up early enough for breakfast, getting dressed, and getting to the car or bus without rushing.
Easing into the routine ahead of time gives your child low-pressure days to get their sleep schedule on track—so the first day feels less overwhelming.
2. Involve them in the preparation
Go backpack shopping with your child and let them choose their favorite. The night before the first day, have them help prepare their backpack, and let them pick their outfit. This gives them a sense of control and can get them excited about going to school.
3. Do a Trial Run
If possible, take your child to any teacher meet-and-greets or open houses so they can meet them before the first day, as well as see their classroom. This can help alleviate stress about unknowns.
Prepare your child by telling them about drop-off and pick-up routines so they know what to expect, such as “Mommy will drop you off in the mornings, and then Daddy will pick you up in the afternoon.”
4. Ensure your child has necessary skills
While knowing letters, numbers, shapes, and colors are all part of being kindergarten-ready, your child will need to practice many other practical skills. Be sure they know how to:
- Use the bathroom independently, including unfastening and fastening pants and washing hands.
- Open their lunchbox and any containers or packages.
- Carry a lunch tray without spilling or dropping it.
- Zip and unzip their backpacks or jackets.
You can help your child practice these skills by making a game out of them. Have a race to see who gets their shoes and jacket on the fastest, pack their lunchbox for a picnic, or have them practice unzipping and unwrapping everything.
5. Talk about kindergarten positively
Even if you’re feeling emotional about your child starting school, telling them that you are proud of and excited for them can really help ease their nerves. You can even check out library books about starting school.
When Things Don’t Go as Planned
Parenthood is unpredictable, and you may need to do some troubleshooting. Even if you practice all of the above tips, your child may still be very emotional or show signs of school phobia.
For example, if your child has a hard time at drop-off in the mornings and doesn’t want to leave you, remember the following tips:
- Maintain your composure. Stay calm and confident in front of your child, even if you’re upset too.
- Validate their feelings. Reassure them that it’s normal to feel nervous before starting something new. Share a story about a time that you felt nervous before a new experience.
- Create a goodbye routine. This can be anything that works for you and your child, but a hug and a simple “I love you” keeps it positive and comforting while helping them prepare for the next step, which is you leaving. Avoid going back into the classroom if you hear them crying after you leave.
- Tell them you’ll be back. Remind them that you’ll see them again in the afternoon.
“For parents, school transitions can be a visible reminder of how quickly their child is growing and moving toward greater independence,” Manotas says.
Taking the time to prepare can help you both be emotionally ready to start kindergarten strong.
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