When Kirsten Adams was pregnant with her first baby, everything went smoothly.
She and her husband Trent welcomed Tanner—a healthy baby boy—in 2012. After Tanner’s safe arrival, they wanted to continue growing their family.
When Adams got pregnant for the second time, everything was normal until she went in for her gender reveal ultrasound at 20 weeks. Her baby didn’t have a heartbeat.
“It was a whirlwind,” Adams said. “We were totally blindsided.”
Adams delivered her baby—a little boy named Jordan—and buried him near her grandma.
“Jordan was born on my grandma’s birthday, so we wanted him to be close to her,” Adams said.
Adams got pregnant again but had a miscarriage when she was just six weeks along. Adams then got pregnant for the fourth time and was monitored more closely. After a family road trip to California, Adams was concerned about a blood clot due to sitting in the car for so long.
“The doctors didn’t find a blood clot,” Adams said. “They offered to do an ultrasound and let me see the baby since I was worried, because Jordan had stopped growing around the same window of time. Sadly, they didn’t find a heartbeat.”
Adams delivered Zion—another baby boy—around 17 weeks gestation.
After Zion, Adams went on to have a healthy pregnancy. Although the birth was traumatic, Tate—another boy—arrived safely thanks to the help of Robert Silver, MD, chair of the at the Spencer Fox Eccles School of Medicine at the University of Utah.
“I was with Dr. Silver at this point,” Adams said. “I had been on heparin shots throughout my entire pregnancy with Tate, and we wondered if that’s what helped him get here safely.”
After Tate, Adams had another miscarriage around 10 weeks. Then, on her seventh pregnancy, she lost another baby boy—Alex—when she was 15 weeks pregnant.
Unfortunately, Adams lost her next baby as well—a little boy named Todd—around 17 weeks gestation. Her next two pregnancies ended in a miscarriage around eight weeks.
Testing didn’t give Adams many answers, other than that one of the babies she lost in the first trimester had tested positive for trisomy 11.
In 2022, Adams got pregnant again and found out it was a girl.
“We were really hopeful that something might be different genetically since it was a little girl this time,” Adams said. “All the babies that we had lost up to this point and had known the genders for had been boys. Everything was going well. We would see our sweet baby girl moving and kicking every two weeks on the ultrasound. She was always very active; we were so hopeful she would make it.”
At 17 weeks, Adams had another ultrasound scheduled. Before heading in, she tried to find a heartbeat with her doppler at home. She couldn’t find a heartbeat. Adams’ husband was sick with COVID-19, so her sister went with her to the appointment.
“The minute they started the ultrasound, I knew she had passed,” Adams said. “She was so still, there was no movement, no flickering heartbeat. I was devastated. We lost our little Kaitlin at 17 weeks.”
Adams didn’t know if she would ever overcome her grief after losing Kaitlin. Testing was inconclusive, adding to the grief and frustration.
At this point, Adams and her family had been through 11 pregnancies, with only two of her babies surviving. She had lost nine babies in total and really had no answers. Unexpectedly, Adams and her husband felt like there was another baby for their family. Though she desperately wanted a child, she was afraid to start trying. The thought of going through another pregnancy or potential loss terrified her. A few months later, she was surprised to find she had conceived while protecting.
Adams started heparin shots, along with a new medication she hadn’t tried before, pravastatin—a medication that doctors think improves placental growth.
Thanks to Silver, Adams got to hear or see her baby every two weeks, alternating between bedside ultrasounds at regular appointments and a more in-depth ultrasound where they kept measuring her baby’s growth. Due to her loss history, Adams was constantly worried that her baby’s heart might stop beating, so this regular monitoring significantly helped her mental and emotional health.
When Adams was 34 weeks, Silver also did stress tests two times a week to make sure baby was doing well. Adams was grateful for the extra support.
“Dr. Silver always listens to you,” Adams said. “He’s so open and willing to bend over backwards to make sure you have what you need. He will do whatever he can to make your pregnancy easier for you.”
The ultrasounds showed that both the baby and the placenta were growing properly. At 37 weeks and 5 days, Adams had her baby—a little girl named Kayleigh, born in January 2025.
“It was such a mental game at that point, and Dr. Silver let me deliver a bit earlier than we had planned,” Adams said. “There’s no way I could have done this pregnancy without him.”
For Silver, the admiration goes both ways.
“Kirsten and her family are just absolutely remarkable,” said Silver. “She is a great example of resilience and faith and can be an inspiration to other families who are going through the same thing.”
Kayleigh is now 5 months old and doing well. Tanner is 12 and Tate is 9.
Adams and her husband are so grateful they have the opportunity to raise their three beautiful children, while remembering the babies they lost.
In Adams’ home, photo albums and five shadow boxes honor Jordan, Zion, Alex Todd, and Kaitlin—the five babies who did not survive. Each shadow box has a few small but significant items: a board book, a small stuffed animal, a positive pregnancy test, blankets the babies were held in, and handprints, footprints, or molds. Adams and her family also celebrate each baby on the anniversary of their loss.
“Even just a minor small thing can help keep them in our hearts,” Adams said. “It’s tricky. It’s hard. People sometimes don’t acknowledge your loss when you lose your baby during pregnancy.”
Adams has had a lot of support to get her through her four miscarriages and five losses in the second trimester. Between the support of Silver, a psychologist, a life coach, Share Parents of Utah, and many supportive family members and friends, she has made it through. Delivering her babies that passed and getting to hold them has also helped her process her grief.
But the one thing that has helped Adams survive the heartache the most is her faith in God.
“I don’t know if I could have gone through all of this without my faith,” Adams said. “That’s the truth.”
When Kayleigh is older, Adams hopes to volunteer with the Utah Pregnancy After Loss Program to support other parents and families who have gone through multiple losses.
More about the Utah Pregnancy After Loss Program
The Utah Pregnancy After Loss Program sees patients who have experienced the following:
•&Բ;&Բ;&Բ; Stillbirth for any reason
•&Բ;&Բ;&Բ; Newborn death for any reason
•&Բ;&Բ;&Բ; Termination of pregnancy for medical or obstetric reasons
•&Բ;&Բ;&Բ; Recurrent or other types of pregnancy loss
•&Բ;&Բ;&Բ; Placental disorders including preeclampsia and fetal growth restriction
•&Բ;&Բ;&Բ; Preterm birth due to medical or pregnancy problems
For those whose loss has just happened, the trauma is real, with answers and support hard to find. For those who seek another baby after loss, the road to a successful pregnancy is often a terrifying and lonely journey.
Families who have suffered loss, major pregnancy complications, and families who hope for another baby deserve cutting-edge medical care. They also often need mental health support in ways unique to their experience
Resources & Programs for Pregnancy Loss
Utah Pregnancy After Loss Program
The Utah Pregnancy After Loss Program is designed specifically to support families after a pregnancy loss, newborn death, or severely complicated pregnancy.
Early Pregnancy Assessment Clinic
Our Early Pregnancy Care team providers offer comprehensive management and follow-up care for families who recently had an early pregnancy loss.
Perinatal Mental Health Services
Experts at Huntsman Mental Health Institute provide support and expertise to women who are struggling with their mental health due to pregnancy loss, birth trauma, and more.
